"I just knew"

This is what my friends would say when pressed for explanations about how they chose their husbands and partners. I always found this to be an entirely unsatisfying answer.

"But HOW did you know? What made you so certain?" My desire to comfortably navigate the unknown often expresses itself in trying to understand phenomena beyond articulation.

"I just KNEW." Clearly, this was some kind of insider club code that I was not likely to penetrate. There were no strategies I could mimic, no best practices I could adopt. Just some ambiguous intuiting that seemed available to every other person on the planet but me.

And thus I spent many, many years in many not-so-happy relationships, not-knowing--and wondering when that lightning bolt would strike.

Then last year a mutual friend introduced Jon and me by email. With Jon's first paragraph, I knew. A few weeks later on our first date, I knew. And when he proposed two months later, I knew. Absolute as a mountain was this knowing.

Today is the anniversary of that lightning bolt of mutual intention striking. I have a year's worth of experience confirming what my being somehow measured on some indescribable cosmic scale almost at first glance: that this is my person to love. And I am his.

There is so much about knowing that will gratefully never be burdened by the limited reach of the mind.

Comments

[Mari]

There's "I just knew" and what AB said years ago: "You get who you get!" I kind of like that one. Sort of takes the mystery out of it. It's not settling; it's knowing AND accepting.

Many congratulations on reaching this milestone! A friend long ago said of her then-25+ year marriage that it was like an old coat, comfortable and familiar. May you and Jon's relationship one day become like a favorite old coat, too.

[Tina]

Congratulations and happy anniversary!

[Shanna Germain]

Congrats!

So much of what I do in my life that's right comes to me like that: "I just know." Writing. Love. Location. Friends. Reading. Work. Animals. Companions. Joy. Laughter.

I had a "just know" the first time I met you too, and thought, "yep, here we go into this friendship that's going to last the ages."

May all of your best "just knows" last as long as you like and be as wonderful as you hope.

Best, s.

[Paul Maurice Martin]

Congratulations - but I think that to "know" means you have to know that you know. Since over fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, we'd want to see if those who marry feeling they "just know" in fact never or rarely get divorced. Then it would be real knowledge.

[Shawn Sorensen]

Even though you "just knew" with Jon, he'd better always know that you knew and will continue to know...

[The Writer Mama]

Sweet. Happy anniversary!

[Elizabeth]

Congratulations. It is always so sweet when that happens.