Depth of Field

In preparation for the rapid approach of our son, Jon and I purchased a new camera with all the bells and whistles. Because technology is my friend only after a proper introduction has been made by someone else who knows what they're doing, Jon has become master of the camera; as he learns, he teaches me.

Today I've been admiring Jon's experiments with depth of field (these photos are his) and considering how it mirrors the changes in my life.

The more closely we look at a certain thing, the more blurry everything beyond the subject becomes. This seems to be what pregnancy is demanding of me: a singular focus, a deliberate tunnel vision, a simplicity. After keeping so many balls in the air for so long, I am suddenly utterly incapable of the juggle.

My depth of field has narrowed to the life inside of me, this enormous and weary body that carries it and the needs of my family. Everything beyond that nucleus has gone soft and blurry. As my priorities shift like sand in the great wind of this transition to motherhood, I am told that even my beloved animals will lose focus a bit as our son takes center stage. That is difficult to imagine. I will hold these photos as stones along the path--reminders that we choose in every moment how to adjust the lens.

Comments

[dale]

Yes. So true. And when it winds down, 18 years later or so, you find you have profoundly different habits of attention.

(Great photos, btw!)

[Mari L'Esperance]

A lovely post, Sage. I'm thinking of you and your "enormous and weary body" as September swiftly approaches. Love to you and LB!